Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Safe travels, nice family visits, and good eating to all.

Ugh, What a Month

• Lost a baby.
• Dad has cancer.
• My boss, who is the only reason I have been able to suffer through this job at this company so long, turned in his resignation.

Okay, so it isn't a whole lot number-wise, but these are three pretty traumatic events. And they all happened within the past month.

Please God, let next month be better. I don't think I can take a whole lot more without going insane (and I really don't want to find out either).

P&PT if you can spare them.

It's A Boy!!!

So, I was thinking that 15 weeks was too early to tell. Apparently, not.

The ultrasound tech at the specialists office did a very detailed scan. She looked for and saw all major organs, bones, etc. She said everything looked and measured normal.

Weekend In Review

• My mom came up to visit. This weekend was planned long before the emotional upheaval of last week, but the timing couldn't have been better. We had a nice relaxing weekend, but didn't really do much of anything.
• I got home Friday evening to find a message from a maternal-fetal specialist group (not my OB-GYN office) confirming an appointment that I hadn't made and that I knew nothing about. I freaked out - wouldn't you after what had happened?!? So, I call my doctor's answering service and have to convince the person who answers the phone that even though I am not bleeding and I am not in labor that this is an emergency. I told her what had happened earlier in the week and that I didn't think that my doctors would want me to be freaked out all weekend over something that a phone call could probably clear up. Her first answer was "just don't worry". I'm sorry, do you work with pg women very often? That doesn't fly. So, essentially I told the lady to page the doctor on call or I would be reporting her. I was concerned they had found something they hadn't told me about. I was concerned something was wrong with me or the baby that they had forgotten to mention with everything else that happened on my appointment. I would have driven myself insane if I didn't get to talk to someone. Well, the doctor calls back and the referral and appointment is just to assure the doctor's that they aren't missing anything. They still think everything is okay with the baby, but they want another set of eyes to look at it due to my history. That I understand and would have been cool with had they just talked to me before scheduling an appointment for me, without my knowledge. Ugh, just keep me in the loop - ya know!!
• Tried to take Dylan to a new (closer to our new house) kids hair cut place. It was a no-go. He pitched a fit. He was terrified. The lady there said that she couldn't cut his hair with scissors while he was moving so much, but she could use the clippers all over. Lady, I have clippers with guards at home. If that was what I wanted, I could do it myself for free. What kind of kids place can't cut the hair of a crying child. And, funny thing is that at the old hair cut place, they used cut his hair just fine with scissors when he was pitching a fit (quite a while ago).
• Called to get an appointment and took Dylan to the old hair cut place. He was still a little traumatized by the other place, but after we get him in the jeep (LOL!!), he calms down and does great.
• Looks like we will be driving a little further for Dylan's haircuts. It's just not worth the trauma/drama of changing places right now. And, quite honestly, I didn't like the attitude at the new place.
• Ate Chinese at the mall with Dylan and mom. This is bigger than it sounds. When I was growing up, Mom couldn't stand Chinese food. Over the past little while, she has slowly tried some new stuff and is finding she enjoys somethings she never did before.
• Went shopping for Jason's birthday present. Couldn't find what I wanted, so came home and ordered it. Too bad it won't make it in time for his birthday. Sorry, babe.
• Took a nap Saturday and Sunday with Dylan. It was great.

All in all, it was a pretty good - low key weekend. We need those every once in a while.

BTW, my OB-GYN office called on Monday around noon to let me know about the referral to the specialist. They already knew about my frantic call to the doctor on call on Friday and profusely apologized for the misunderstanding (i.e. referring me and setting up an appointment without telling me).

We found out Monday that one of the twins has stopped growing and has no heartbeat. Actually, it appears that growth stopped about 4 weeks ago, so it was probably within days of us actually finding out about the twins.

The other twin, however, appears to be doing fine. The measurements that were taken on Monday are right where they should be and there was a strong heartbeat at a rate of 167. Maternal risk, other than a higher risk of miscarriage, has dropped due to this now being considered a singleton pregnancy.

I took a couple of days off of work just to absorb the news and grieve the lost baby. Now, although I do still have many moments of sadness, I think that I have processed the information and am trying to focus on the surviving baby.

So, here is a list of positive (though some may seem cold-hearted and sarcastic) things that I can start to think about:

1. I can now attempt a VBAC. My doctors were pretty set on the fact that a VBAC with twins was too risky; however, assuming all other conditions are favorable, they will support an attempt with a single birth.
2. Though I am still considered high risk, I am not nearly as high risk with a single pregnancy as I was with a twin pregnancy.
3. Though my risk for miscarriage of the surviving baby is higher, the doctors believe that since I have made it to 13 weeks with the surviving baby still thriving that I have a good chance of continuing to have a healthy pregnancy.
4. I still get to have a lot of ultrasounds.
5. One of my internet mom friends has offered to loan me a doppler to reassure my mind in between office visits. People, even people you have never met, really do seem to come through in times like these.
6. Potential daycare costs are no longer more than my house payment.
7. I believe I can be a good mom to one infant and one child. I was really concerned about whether I could be a good mom to two infants and one child.
8. I believe that I will be able to breastfeed. I was concerned about my ability to breastfeed two babies. Don't get me wrong - I'm not one of those people who believe formula is bad and I'm not against supplementing. However, I didn't get the experience of breastfeeding Dylan due to his prematurity and time in the NICU. It's something I really want to do, for as long as it works for us.
9. I am not as worried about the effect on Dylan with one baby as I was with two.
10. I will be able to take Dylan and baby out by myself if I need to. I wasn't sure that I would be able to do that with Dylan and twins.

Now, please understand that I would have never wished for this to happen and that I was absolutely shaken and devastated on Monday. I have had a couple of days to think about things and accept that I will not be the mom to twins. And while I was worried about my ability to handle everything, I know that had both babies survived that I would have figured everything out and would have done a good job and would have loved it.

But now, that avenue is closed, so I am attempting to look at all of the positives (even some of the selfish ones) that can be taken from this sad experience. Back in December, I had a miscarriage. It was devastating and there was nothing positive that I could take from that experience. I grieved and cried and wondered if I could risk that hurt again. Well, obviously, I decided that I could. This loss, however, is so different. I can't completely give myself over to grief. I still have another little one who is counting on me to make good choices so that he/she can continue to thrive. I have allowed myself a time to grieve and wallow in my grief; however, I can not allow myself to be consumed by it.

My way of dealing with things is to figure out the details. If I can figure out the details of something, then I know I can handle it. I was in the process of figuring out the details of having/raising twins. I was getting there. Now, I have to figure out the details of not having twins. So, this is where I am right now.

We Are Now a TWO Minivan Family

Well, we bought our second minivan last night. It's a 2003 Honda Odessey with leather and DVD. This will definitely be the one that we take on trips. It's in really good shape and we got an awesome deal (both on our tradein and on the "new" van). I would definitely do business with this certain carlot again.

Here's a picture of the Odessey:

We Are Now a Minivan Family

Yesterday, after several hours of negotiation, Jason traded his recently "new to us" Jeep Grand Cherokee in for a "new to us" Mazda MPV. This is not our exact one, but it is the same year and color.


It is one of the smaller minivans out on the market and we really did get a great deal. Jason got them to put on a new set of tires and to perform a complete service. There are a couple of dings and scratches, but what can you expect from an almost 4 year old vehicle. A couple of the most noticible scratches will be fixed somehow by their "body guy" tomorrow.

With the twins coming, we originally thought that we could keep one of our "smallish" SUVs and get one minivan. We were wrong. While we can fit 3 car seats in each of the SUVs we have, the front seats have to be so far forward that it is not comfortable to drive. We were going to make do, but found a really great deal on this minivan.

In the next couple of months, we will be purchasing another minivan. Probably a "new to us" Honda Odyssey. This will be the newer (and nicer) of the two minvans and the one we will take on trips. Wish us luck.

Wow, It's Been 3 Months . . .

where did the time go?

Honestly, not too much has been going on all summer. Time just kept getting away from me and I couldn't find the time (or inspiration to blog).

Well, summer is over and I figured it was time to come back to blogland.

Quick summer recap:

• Dylan is completely daytime potty trained.
• Nighttime, not so much, but that will come with time.
• The house is coming together, slowly, but surely.
• Visited FIL and his girlfriend and had a pretty nice visit in the mountains of PA.
• My mom is dating for the first time since she and Dad got divorced. She seems really happy and I am happy for her. The guy seems really nice.
• My dad is married again for the second time since he and Mom got divorced. They only knew each other about 4 weeks before setting a date and only 8 weeks by the time they married. I don't really care for her, but WHATEVER.
• We bought a timeshare in partnership with Jason's dad and his girlfriend. Hope this turns out to be a good thing.
• We went to the beaches in North Carolina over Labor Day weekend. It was a nice, relaxing time with SIL and her family.
• And last, but certainly not least . . .I am pregnant . . .with twins.

I will try to be better about writing.

We're Baaaack!!

Well, we made it home safely from Vegas. We had a really good time, but we were gone a few days too long. We saw several shows (KA, Love, and Lance Burton) and only gambled a little. We did a little shopping and just had a relaxing week. Unfortunately, no little elves visited our new home and unpacked all of our boxes, so we are still living with chaos right now.

Dylan did great with my SIL, but he was ready for us to come home. He got a little homesick, but she was able to keep him distracted. He went to the lake, to the zoo, to the pool, and made a new friend. But as soon as we walked in the door to pick him up, he was ready to go home. He didn't want us to sit around and chat with SIL and BIL, he wanted to go. He gave them each 4 or 5 hugs just trying to prompt us to go home.

On Monday, when I took Dylan back to school, he refused to go to his old class. I had told him that he was going to start going to the "big boy" class (i.e. preschool) this week sometime and he decided that Monday was the right day. After pitching a fit that he didn't want to go to the "baby" class, he walked into that new class like he had always been there.

For those of you who don't my son well, you don't understand how big this is for him. Transition to new things (especially new classes at school) has been really, really hard for him in the past. The last transition took almost a month, but part of that was because there was a teacher change about that time too. So, we were foreseeing weeks of slowing moving him to the new class (which is actually how they move most kids - a couple of hours each day the first week and more and more time the next week until they are there all day). Nope, he walked in yesterday and he was done with the old class.

When I dropped him off today, he walked to the new class, hung his bookbag on his hook (no more cubby for him), and told me "Bye, Mom". HUH?? What happened here?? Don't get me wrong, I think it is awesome that he wants to go to this class (especially since he has to anyway). But he has never, in the almost 3 years he has been in daycare, just walked into class and told me see ya later. It's two days now. I hope this continues. My baby is growing up. I am so happy/sad.

We're Off to Vegas.

See you in about a week.

Busy, Busy, Busy

It's been a very busy couple of weeks.

We had Dylan's 3rd birthday party on May 27. He had a blast. There were water gun fights (by children and adults), four-wheeler riding, and just an all around good time. Dylan patiently waited as "Happy Birthday" was sung to him and then promptly blew out his candles - taking out a corner of the cake in the process. He got way too many toys (mostly from Jason and I). Everyone else was blessedly contained this year with the gift giving. It was the last party in our old house.

We moved to our new house on Friday, June 2. There were many twists and turns getting into the new house starting with the horrible experience of selling our house to the horrible experience with the moving company we used (btw - don't ever use "All My Sons" to move). But, the final result is that we are in our new house and we are getting settled.

This Friday, June 9, Jason and I leave for Vegas. We planned this trip even before we thought about selling out old house. I am hopeful that the house will be a little more put together before we leave. We both need the relaxation that comes from a vacation. This has been a very trying experience and I am truly glad that it is over.

To all who sent us P&PT, I truly appreciate it.

Good News / Bad News

Good News: Dylan pooped on the potty last night. This is ground breaking news in our house. He has been peeing consistently since March, but the pooping just eluded him. Well, we have been encouraging him to "toot-toot" (i.e. fart) when he is sitting on the potty and he loves to do it. Thinks it is the funniest thing ever. Well, last night Jason convinced him to "toot-toot" and POOP came out. He was so excited. He got two presents (I have been promising him for weeks that if he would poop on the potty, he could get two presents). Bribery really is a good thing.

Bad News: It looks like the loan for the people buying our house may be falling apart. The lender is trying to figure something out that will work for both parties. I am just going to hate it if we have to put off buying our new house and if we have to put our current house back on the market. P&PT if you have any to spare.

Band for a Lifetime:
Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY in titles of their songs.

1. Are you male or female? Something In The Way She Moves

2. Describe yourself. Night Owl

3. How do some people feel about you? Steamroller

4. How do you feel about yourself? Long Ago And Far Away

5. Describe your ex: Bitter Sweet

6. Describe your current significant other: Your Smiling Face

7. Describe where you want to be: Anywhere Like Heaven

8. Describe how you live: Traffic Jam

9. Describe how you love: Fire And Rain

10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish? Enough To Be On Your Way

11. Share a few words of wisdom: Shower the People

12. Now say goodbye: You Can Close Your Eyes

Deep Breaths

Okay, so it is really just hitting me that we have approximately 3 weeks to pack up our house. I know it can be done, but we still have to live here while we are packing up - you know.

So, the game plan so far is to pack up the garage first (because this is where everything will be stored in the meantime and we won't be able to get to anything if we don't do it first), then the nursery and the office. Then we can start packing up non-essential stuff from our and Dylan's rooms. We are hiring movers to help with the heavy stuff, so the majority of the furniture will stay in place until they move it down.

In the midst of all of this, we are having Dylan's b-day party. Luckily, we only planned for it to be a family party this year, so it won't be too stressful.

Oh, yeah, and we are leaving for a week vacation in Vegas 1 week after we move. Hopefully, things will be under control enough so that we can enjoy our vacation.

And, hooray for my SIL who offerred to keep Dylan this weekend so we can get a head start on the packing. She is also keeping Dylan the week we go to Vegas. I am thinking we will be getting her a pretty nice gift.

Crazy, crazy times . . .

So, we have a contract on our existing house. We were only on the market 8 days. CRAZY, I tell ya. We are set to close on June 2.

We have changed our minds about which house we want to purchase and will be signing a new contract tomorrow. The new house is right next door to the old one. LOL!! Here is the new house and the floorplan:

We Signed a Contract Today . . .

If all goes according to plan, this will be our new home in the next couple of months or so . . .

House Hunting

So, it looks like we are buying a new house.

We went on a Sunday drive last weekend and visited a nice, new neighborhood. We had been there before and thought we would love to live there. Well, it turns out that we can afford it.

So, since Sunday we have decided to sell our house and buy a new one. I don't know how long this process will take or anything, but I am scared and excited at the same time.

Please send us "easy home selling" vibes.

Splish Splash

Dylan has his first swimming lesson tomorrow. I actually convinced Jason that he should be the one in the pool with Dylan (I am one smart momma - LOL).

I will let you know how it goes. Dylan seems to be really excited about it, so I hope he doesn't freak out when we get to the pool.

This is where we are going for the lessons:

http://www.swimatlanta.com/

They actually have swim teams and compete at meets. Some of the swimmers they have trained have gone on to be part of the Olympic swim teams. That, however, is not my goal for Dylan. I just want him to be more comfortable in the water and get a little exposure to the pool.

More to follow (and pictures too). . .

I Have An Announcement To Make . . .

I am so freakin' tired.

That is all.

The Potty Dance

I just have to share that Dylan has been in underwear since last Tuesday. He has been wearing it to daycare and has had minimal accidents. I still put a pullup on him at night, but he has only woken up wet 2 nights since we started this process. It's like putting the underwear on him made it just click for him (and offering 2 jellybeans for a pee in the potty and 4 for a poop in the potty probably didn't hurt either). YEAH, DYLAN!!!

Last week was spring break here. Traditionally, a lot of kids don't go to daycare during spring break. On Monday, I asked Dylan's teacher if we could send him to school in underwear because he was doing well for us on the weekends. She said yes and we haven't looked back. The first couple of days he had one or two accidents a day. Toward the end of the week, he was really getting the hang of it. I even set up a "treasure box" with some cheap toys so he can pick one prize out for each accident free day at daycare (the first day he wore underwear to daycare he got a prize just for trying so hard). However, anytime we put him back in a pullup, he has no desire to potty. He knows the difference without a doubt.

He still won't poop on the potty, but when I put his nighttime pullup on him he goes almost immediately. I know that it will happen in time. And, since he's not pooping in his underwear, I really don't mind that much that he waits for a pullup. At least he's going and not getting constipated.

I know we will still probably have some accidents along the way (who doesn't??), but I am so proud of my little guy.