Pregnancy Announcement and Update (Loss)

I found out I was pregnant on December 2, 2005. We planned to announce it to our families at Christmas by having Dylan wear his "I'm the Big Brother" tee-shirt.

I started spotting on Friday and my wonderful doctor actually opened up the office to get me in for an ultrasound. She thought we would be able to see a heartbeat and that would relieve all worries. We confirmed the pg, but it appeared to have stopped developing at about 4-5 weeks. She tried to be optimistic telling me I probably just had my dates wrong, but I couldn't see how. We still made the announcement to the families, we just tempered it with the fact that I was having some bleeding.

The bleeding continued over the weekend and my doctor confirmed the loss yesterday. I have to go back for testing later this week and early next week to confirm a complete miscarriage.

I think I am doing okay. I can't really talk about it without crying right now, but I think that is pretty normal. Once I started spotting on Friday, I resigned myself to the fact that this would probably be the result. It didn't make hearing it yesterday any easier, but I wasn't shocked.

To be honest with you, having Dylan is the best comfort I can imagine. I just look at him and know that I can get through anything. As I was putting him to bed last night, he was singing a song and he looked up at me with complete love and said, "I happy, Mommy". I just hugged him close and really thought about all the love and joy he has brought to us and told him I was happy too. And, in that moment, I truly was.