Scattered Thoughts and Musings

• I have just been filled with this deep sense of peace and gratitude about my life for the past day or so. I am not typically a person who looks for the best in situations or people or anything else, but I am thinking I should try a little more to do so. I am truly blessed. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and puts up with me. I have two amazing, beautiful boys. (Yes, they are boys and they are beautiful.) I have a great family who would do (and have done) anything they could to help me when I needed it or asked. I have a very nice home. I have a vehicle that I don't have to worry about not getting me where I am going. I can pay every bill that we have, every month, without (obsessively) worrying (too much) about where the money is going to come from. Because my husband works so hard and has been so successful at what he does, I am able to stay at home and take care of my family. We are able to participate in things that we could never do if I had to work outside of the home. Now, I just need to keep these thoughts and this feeling in the front of my mind and live it instead of just feeling it.
• I miss my dad. Really, really miss him. I feel guilty for not spending more time with him when he was here. I feel guilty for not "liking" him for the last couple of years of his life. I loved him - no doubts about that - and I miss him. I am happy that he got to meet both of my boys, but I hate that they won't ever be able to know him. For the past couple of weeks, I cry every time I think about him. I don't know if I didn't mourn him properly when he died or what, but I truly can't think about him (or hear other people talk about missing their parents) without tearing up.
• I am so proud of Dylan. At school this week, they learned about a new reading concept - inferring information. After reading a short story, the class had to answer specific questions based on inferences they made from the story. Only three people in the class did well and Dylan did the best. He is so smart and I am so thankful for the teacher he has this year. She is helping to reinstill his confidence in himself.
• I am constantly amazed by Brady. He had his first swimming lesson this week. I was concerned about putting him in the class because he would be one of up to six students with only one instructor. Only one child is allowed in the pool at a time and I was worried he would not listen to his teacher and get in the pool when it wasn't his turn. We talked about the rules of the pool and of the class. He was the youngest (by two years) child in the class. He was also the best behaved and the best listener. Anything the instructor asked him to do, he did it. There were a couple of times he hesitated, but he always did what she asked.
• Work may be picking up again. My sister-in-law is trying to get the adoption portion of her business going. If it picks up, I will start getting more of the writing assignments that we currently do. I like being able to bring some money in, but I need to get back in the practice of budgeting my time to get the work done. Right now, I have a couple of cases sitting on my desk that are due over the next couple of days, but I have been procrastinating. I know it won't take long once I get started, but I just can't get started. I hate being like this, but it's how I have always been and I can't/won't stop.
• Jason is excited. He has been helping out with soccer tryouts for his school. He has enjoyed it so much that he has volunteered to be a part-time coach for the junior varsity team.
• Dylan started attending tennis clinics this week. He really enjoyed it. Last night, the whole family went out and hit tennis balls together. Even Brady was running around with his little racquet and his plastic ball trying to hit it over the net. We had a good time and, hopefully, we will start doing it more often.